Today

Today we said goodbye to my baby cousin Carson.

Today was one of the hardest things I have ever been through.

The baby lay in his casket looking like he would just wake up at any moment. Every time I looked at him I saw one of my two boys in that casket. The bad thing is there was a possibility that Chase could have died when he was born. Chase was 8-7 weeks early. He was put on oxygen, and had a very irregular heartbeat. Well within hours Chase did not need help breathing, and his heart beat did become regular. He stayed in the hospital with a few minor problems but nothing life threatening. I love my 2 boys so very much, that I think it would kill me if anything ever happened to them.

Jay and Melissa kept their composure so much better then I would have. They stayed strong for their 2 other children. If it wasn't for those 2 other kids relaying on them I don't think they could have been that composed.

As for my during the service I held up pretty well till I looked over and saw Jay lose it. I think it's so much harder on me to see my best cousin/friend go through something like this. He's 23, he shouldn't have to bary a children. He shouldn't have to go through this. Our family has already gone through with losing our grandpa around this same time last year. Then when my uncle Jason (Jay's Dad) got up is when I went over the edge. I couldn't hold it in any more. This 6 month old baby is gone for our lives. We'll never hear him speak, walk, run, play. He was just ripped from our lives and we want him back.

After the service I got back to being strong Shannon. Then we wnt to the cemertary while we all said our goodbye's Carsons 3 yr old Brother Jaxon kept going up to the casket and saying my brother's in there, thats my brother. I lost it again. Thats the exact same thing Chase would say when I was pregnant with Bryaden.

Thats all I can take for tonight more to come.

Today

***********Warning this is a very sad post*****************


Today has been an up and down day. First off all we had a lot going on today.
But something happened to make me stop and enjoy my two great sons. Let me first give you some background. My mom and dad are divored. They divorced when I was 6. Growing up my dad's family was around, but just not in my life often. Around Jr. High my cousin Jay became really good friends. He's only a year younger then I. Jay and I were inserpable. Well as the years go on through Jr. was the same. High school we started to drift apart. We went to different high schools, and hung out with very different crowds. Well I had my 2 kids and Jay had 2 kids. 6 months ago Jay and his wife Melissa has another little boy names Carson. Well one of our families favorite things to do is go camping. So this weekend Jay and his family went camping. They went to Shelbyville. At 4 this morning little Carson woke up to feed as normal. Then mom went back to bed. Jay and Melissa woke up around 8ish, and went to check on Carson. They found Carson not breathing. Jay as a trained firefighter started CPR on the baby. While Melissa called 911. Unfortantly the baby was pronunced at the scene dead. This is the 6 month old baby. They thought he had died from suffaction from a blanket in the bed. Well around 5 this evening the received the autopsy reports and Carson died from SIDS. Sudden Infant Death Syndorm. This is a syndrom where infants die suddenly and with out cause. My whole family is very distraught over this. How could this happen to our family. How could this even happen to Jay. He LOVED his kids with all his heart and it broke my heart into a billion little pieces just thinking that he had to preform CPR on his own child, and for the baby to die on him. How could this happen.

I cannot write anymore about this now. I get very upset just thinking about it let alone writing this.

If you have any children, babies anything just hug them tighter, love them more then ever and enjoy them more then you can. You never know when something like this can happen to you or your family.

Jay and Melissa if you are reading this. I love you guys, hang in there.

Bridal Shower

I had my suppose to be bridal shower last Saturday. I got lots of goodies. A few people showed up that I wouldn't have thought to come. Unfortantly some people I wanted to come did not. Oh well their loss. Here's some pics.




This is GG(Great Grandma to my kids) My grandma and her friend Betty.


This is Bridesmaids Jessica and Becky




Bridesmaid/Sister Renee



My mom is the floral shirt and her friend Cassie



Soon to be MIL Anjie






My Mom



GG



Anjie






Pinapple and dip



Food table



Cake made by the oh so yummy Cookie Factory



Bridesmaid Destiny






4 of 5 Bridesmaid, other Bridesmaid was in Kansas for a run she did for her company. We missed her though.



Me opening gifts



Cake again



Destiny






All the goodies

Ball game

Thursday we went to my nephew's ball game and here's some pics I took of my kiddo's.

Today is the day. What day do you ask? Today is my "surprise" shower!!!! YEAH!!! Well it was suppose to be a surprise until my grandma let it slip. So today I work until 2 then come home and have to help set it up since I already know. So for now off to work I go... I will post pictures and update later tonight.

Wedding Registry

So the wedding is drawing near... wanna know how I know? Because things are starting to get taken off of our registry!!!! I am getting so excited. I'm trying really hard to not be what us STLWEDDERS call a registry stalker, but it is so hard to not look. So I figured if some of you readers that are coming to the wedding looking for a perfect gift, or the one we really want off the registry, here they are.


I really want the dishes.




I have been in love with these dishes for EVER!!! They are awesome and I so LOVE them.

The food processor.



The cereal dispenser



These square plates



These plates would go oh so good with my cool dishes above


Also my cool flatware!




and the last thing I would so love to get is this bench.